‘You’ve got to take a few on the body in this game, son’!
Cricketing wisdom for, well, mainly relationships and road trips
Metaphors we live by
Metaphors inform our way of seeing the world. For example, complete this sentence: ‘Life is a …’. Did you, like me, say ‘game’? Test? Adventure? Gift? As Lakoff & Johnson (1980) argued in Metaphors we live by:
‘Our ordinary conceptual system, in terms of which we both think and act, is fundamentally metaphorical in nature’ (p.4).
It is crucial, then, to explore those metaphors that guide our lives. There’s another metaphor. Get the picture? That’s another. This is going to be messy. Another! Arrrggghhh! No wonder (The Artist Formerly Known As) Prince replaced his name with a symbol!
I love the smell of fags, beer and urine in the morning
From plastic bats and balls in the garden as a toddler, seeing dad in his whites, adorned with an oversized jumper knitted by mum, the smell of stale sweat emanating from the kit (along with unfeasibly long pubic hairs spread throughout the kit bag!), to the sweet smelling concoction of fags-pints-and urine emanating from the troughs at the grounds, all accompanied by a soundtrack of Test Match Special (TMS) on BBC radio, cricket has been there throughout my life.
‘Line and length, son’
Some cricketing metaphors are part of everyday parlance: ‘they had a good innings’ is probably the most common. Cricket has been my dad’s conceptual system for navigating his game of life. He wouldn’t put it like that, mind! Chatting about the recently concluded Ashes, I tentatively shared some of his cricketing metaphors with colleagues. I was bowled over at how well they landed; like Glenn McGrath in his pomp!
Inspired in part by Lakoff & Johnson, but also Halpern’s hilarious Shit my dad says (2011), below is an over of my dad’s best. Admittedly, these deliveries, as well as the article as a whole, do necessitate some knowledge of cricketing vernacular. I hope these hit the middle of the bat for you!
Ball 1: When dumped by my girlfriend, aged 17 — ‘You’ve got to take a few on the body in this game, son’!
Ball 2: Whilst incessantly monitoring the Miles Per Gallon (MPG) economy measure on a road trip to Scotland — ’Late 50s is the hallmark of a great batter, son — we can’t let this average slip goddamit’!
Ball 3: On not knowing if a girl I liked would continue our relationship during a rough patch, aged 24 — ‘That one’s in the corridor of uncertainty, son’.
Ball 4: When starting my Masters in Philosophy and finding the initial classes well over my head — ‘You gotta give the first hour of the day to the bowlers, son’.
Ball 5: Upon opening the curtains to witness unforgivingly grey and moist weather conditions on a day we were going to hike up Mount Snowdon — ‘There’ll be a bit of swing about early on, son — we’ll have to respect the bowling’!
Ball 6: When my wife decided to end our marriage, aged 30 — ‘That’s a rough decision, son, but I’m afraid you’ve got to accept the umpire’s call’.
So, there it is, an over of challenging deliveries! Dad doesn’t do no balls or wides. Strictly line and length, which keep the batter honest at all times!
Bibliography
Halpern, J. (2011). Shit my dad says. London: Pan
Lakoff, G. & Johnson, M. (1980). Metaphors we live by. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
